Have you ever told a friend you would like to meet for lunch but you can’t find time to meet or you find that you forget about it? And every time you run into them you say the same thing. Let’s meet for lunch or I am sorry I haven’t had time to meet for lunch. Or you notice your partner/spouse tells you that they love hanging out with your friends but they can’t ever seem to make your friends Friday night parties? And it always creates a little tussle between the two of you. Or you say I am going to do more art but never find the time? It leaves you feeling a little bad.

It seems like we sometimes attach to what we say or the words spoken by another or ourselves as if it is the full truth in every situation. We say we want to meet a friend even though it doesn’t totally land. Or when someone else says something like they want to be with your friends we hold it like it is hot-off-the-press T R U E.

What happens when we mute the words and just notice the actions?

You notice you want to get together with a friend but the time doesn’t land on the calendar? Is there a part of you that is avoiding this person for a certain reason? Are you feeling resistant because sometimes when you are together you feel like they are continually focused on their relationship and don’t ask much about you? Or are you truly too busy and you don’t want to disappoint them?

Or maybe you say you want to do more art but can’t find the time because you are afraid of failing?

If the situation is the other way around and your partner/spouse says they want to be with your people but whenever you ask them to a gathering they have a reason why they can’t make it. What if you could decide to stop listening to the words and step back a little. Your partner/spouse usually says no to invites to big gatherings so maybe you can start being more curious about it. How do big gatherings make them feel? Is there a reason your partner/spouse may not want to be part of your friend group? Is it possible that your spouse/partner is just tired on the weekends and really likes to unwind with more solitude? Can you engage in a dialogue of curiosity rather than hurt?

Ultimately, the path of self-discovery is to continue to the places where we might be out of alignment. I say I want to do this but then I can’t find the time. I notice someone else has a similar pattern. Is it possible this observation is a mirror to my own experiences? We have no power to change others, but we can continue to question our own motives and push for introspection. And as we develop more self-understanding it can ripple out into the world and help us be more tolerant and compassionate. This is a beautiful thing, to witness the power of our own growth rippling out with more tolerance and understanding.

Happy full moon, dear beautiful ones!