As this year seems to moving at an extraordinary pace, I am pondering the notion of acceptance. What I find interesting about the idea is the challenge to really just be with my experience, regardless of the emotional charge. It does not mean I have to like it or agree with it, but it is a state of finding some sort of peace and trust that it is what it is.

Years ago I learned the Emotional Freedom Technique, (EFT) a hightly useful tool that can help people work with difficult thought patterns and challenging emotions. The process consists of a series of finger tapping at various points on the face, chest and hands as a way to bring your feelings back to a space of neutral. One of the elements that feels so profound is the statement you make before tapping, “I know I am stressed out about this situation but I completely love and accept myself.” I completely love and accept myself. Wow, that is some powerful language.

When pondering acceptance, it might be useful to first explore why we don’t accept things just like they are. Maybe there is a struggle in a relationship that has not really worked out the way we might want. It has left multi-layers of feelings of anger, confusion and disappointment. If only the situation could change or my friend could feel differently, I might think. And I might attempt to change the situation through action and that may not work either. So controlling it hasn’t worked so I might resort to my next defense mechanism. I find myself looking at the situation from the perspective of judgment or blame. This person is wrong and does not understand me, I might think (possibly in many other self-righteous ways). And even in the attempts to control and judge, there is still this underlying feeling of discomfort because yuck, I certainly don’t want to be here.

Now, how can I come to a place of accepting it just as it is? Without trying to modify the discomfort by judging the situation or person. Not trying to flee into action to attempt to change it so I can come back to the status quo of comfort. But just allowing it to be challenging, emotional, tiring and stand there in it. And take a breath, be with it. And as the old habits of thoughts jump in to try to figure it out or defend my position, just keep releasing it back to the breath. I completely love and accept myself. I completely love and accept myself. Self acceptance has a lovely bi-product, it can lend to acceptance of others.

Maybe we can find ways of existing from various experiences simultaneously. I am hurt and uncomfortable and just accept this situation for myself and for my friend, exactly as it is. I am completely with my anger and frustration and accept it. It feels like the more we can cultivate peace at a personal level, the more we are capable of creating peace around us. From the space of acceptance we have ultimate potential to tap into our authentic creative juicy self. And from there anything is possible.