In a recent yoga class I secured myself in a stable tree pose; standing on one foot with the other leg bent and the bottom of my lifted foot on the inside of the standing leg. I love tree pose, it makes me feel so strong and balanced in my rooted single foot. That is until the instructor asked us to close our eyes. Then all the strength in my single leg swayed and I quickly found myself ungracefully incapable of holding the pose. After multiple tries, I felt like the tree pose that had so much ease earlier was suddenly impossible.
In reflecting about it, the thing that appeared was this feeling of being absolutely incapable from maintaining the one-legged pose without the use of my gaze to stabilize me. Further more, it made me start to think about the things that feel impossible. I sat down and typed up an unachievable list. Running a marathon (or being a runner), a week long silent retreat, being an improvisational actor, or writing a novel…
Constructing an impossible list for me was really helpful to see the dead ends of my own thinking. As I shone a light on what felt unachievable, I became more aware of my blockages around manifesting. If feeling strong and grounded in my body only means my eyes are open, maybe I am missing some aspect of strength that relies on inner balance and gaze. Or if writing a novel feels impossible, maybe I could look at my writing habits, or my perception of what a novel writer is supposed to be.
Manifesting is such a potent term for many of us, living the life of our dreams and crafting our choice existence into reality. And it seems like there are times when work or an intimate relationship is just not materializing in the form we want. Even after heading back through intentions, affirmations, and prayers, still nothing budges. So what happens if we head through the back door? Maybe I want this perfect job but it feels impossible for me to work at home and actually get paid. Or I feel incapable of finding a sustainable novel idea that I could stay excited about for the duration of writing it.