It seems like many of us have heard the reference of walking “the middle path” as a lifestyle choice, as the path of moderation or the path between two poles of opposition. On the middle path we avoid the extremes and work to find balance. For example, doing a moderate amount of exercise, eating a varied diet, and adapting our pace in busy times and pausing to rest. And for a lot of us, life is an experience of trying to tweak the extremes of too much and not enough to find the perfect fit.
I find walking the middle path in my thought processes and not getting tied into black and white thinking comes as more of a challenge. Often it is easy to see things as good or bad, easy or hard. There seems to be a level of comfort and security we can experience when we have a strong sense of extremes. This is good, this is bad, and I fit here. Categories give us something to rest in and help us know our place. For instance, I may have a challenging time in a relationship and it is easy to see the experience as bad or hard. And I find myself agonizing, feeling like I made a mistake in communication or could have managed to express anger differently. It is so easy to go to the tried and true old tapes that emphasize things like “my anger is bad and I should not have said this.” The challenge with our perspectives is that we tend to get stuck in the classification of the experience.
How can we find a middle path in our perceptions of ourselves and others that doesn’t get stuck in good and bad? A path open to acceptance and ownership at the same time? A path that allows multiple facets of ourselves to exist simultaneously?
Living continues to bring us to a series of ups and downs no matter what. We might encounter these times by opening up our perception and noticing how things show up and not taking them so personally. Somehow opening our perception to our experience can give us more ease. This isn’t because I am bad, not good enough and unworthy, but this is highlighting an area to help me heal and grow. And even if I can’t get out of my extreme of thinking negatively about myself or my experience, how can I soften into just being who I am.
The question I am posing is: how might we rest and even find refuge in the edges and in-betweens? This space allows us to recognize we have had a learning moment and recognize it was a combination of reactivity, confusion and courage. This isn’t really good or bad, it is just living and recognizing experiences as being multifaceted and not fitting into one area or another. The middle path has its place, yet what happens if we open up to multi-paths? Paths of possibility and potential change? And paths that potentially could open to more and more blessings.